I was born in 1993 and grew up in Western Massachusetts. Ever since I can remember, I have always experienced
the world through ceaseless contemplation and introspection. I never spoke very often, nor asked many questions,
but observed the way people acted around me and the strange world around me, where it seemed that everything had
already been figured out, trying to discern how to act and trying to understand why things were.
I attended George Washington University (GW) in Washington DC for three years (2011-2014). I was drawn to the
rigid structure, rationality, and simplification of human nature that economics provided, and I was intrigued by its
obscurity and apparent importance in the construction of society, so I majored in it figuring that it would also
provide me with a satisfying career. As time went on, the basic simplifications that economics provided were not
enough for me, and the careers I was looking forward to seemed soul-destroying and counter-productive. I began
focusing less and less on the coursework and more on reading and thinking about "meta-economics" (the big-picture
analysis of economic systems and economic behavior at their philosophical core) and philosophy.
I was isolated during my time in Washington DC. I spent a lot of my time walking alone around the area in contemplation.
It was in DC where I discovered how enjoyable a simple thing such as going for a walk and thinking can be. I didn't like
the people at GW or in DC (except for a few people), but they provided a lot of interesting human nature to analyze. The
people there were a noticeable breed of shallow, power-hungry, and narcissistic types who definitely accelerated my
understanding of human nature.
By 2013 I was really starting to get sick of the coursework and people at GW, so I signed up for a semester abroad in
Sydney, Australia. At the University of New South Wales in Sydney I barely scraped by in my classes to get passing grades.
Most of my time was spent walking around the city exploring and thinking, and I started reading books again after a three
year hiatus. I also worked a part-time job hand washing cars in the basement of a parking garage of a little shopping mall
and I went surfing once a week. It was during my time abroad, in taking a step outside of the status quo, that I was able to
analyze myself, society, and existence on another level, and I began to understand deeper that all my behaviors and actions
created who I was and that these actions and thoughts actually meant something and were noticeable and distinguishable in
the eyes of others and myself.
The next semester at GW I struggled to focus on my classes and I even failed an "econometrics" class (something that
I had never done before), yet I really enjoyed and did well in an English/writing class on early American authors in
which I was able to freely express myself. I somehow landed an internship at the United States Securities and Exchange
Commission in DC for the summer. That summer I learned a lot about what life was like working in an office, working for
the government, bureaucracy, and city life. I learned that I did not like these things. Philosophy began to take hold more
and more. Every Saturday morning I got up early and walked for 15 miles around all parts of the district. I started to
have thoughts that I could write fiction based off of some of my ideas even though they were rudimentary existential and
economic ideas. I also started having thoughts about doing farming in order to be in touch with nature and learn how to
At the end of the summer I did not want to continue going to GW or have a career working in an office, but I did not
know how to quit. Right from the start of the semester I started losing my mind being in a place I did not want to be
in, with people I did not like, and these things combined with my intense search for absolute Truth manifested into an
existential breakdown, where I experienced some acute mental suffering and depression, and even started to lose control
over my mind and my grasp on how to act. I left GW half-way through the semester broken and confused. The winter
quieted my surroundings back home, and it quieted my mind, yet my depression lingered on. I worked the night shift at
a plastics manufacturer for a month, and didn't do much else. I applied for a farming apprenticeship at farms in Vermont
and Maine for the spring and was glad to be chosen by a farm in Maine that I was interested in.
On an isolated small family farm midway up the coast of Maine, I found the power of getting in touch with nature and
the natural order of things, and felt a strong inspiring wonder looking at the cosmos above my head at night outside of
my small one room cabin at the edge of the woods. I felt my previous depression and nihilism dissipate and felt a strong
love for life, and I began developing a personal philosophy based around this love for being alive and the hatred of
destructiveness towards life. The philosophy was based around overcoming nihilism through developing a deep wonder
and connection with the universe, recognizing certain subjective understandings of what brings true happiness, and the
importance of tying in self-actualization with work. These were ideas I had been developing for years, but finally got
to experience first hand and fully understand on the farm.
I left Maine in July, worked on another farm in Western Mass through September, and after being presented with an
opportunity to live cheaply in Brooklyn NY, I moved there on October 1st 2015 to focus directly on organizing and
writing down my thoughts. That month I experienced a breakthrough when I discovered/created the concept of the
duality of human nature and I knew right away that it had the potential to be something very important with far-
reaching applications. One year later, after much suffering and hopelessness due to my growing understanding of all
the destructiveness in the world, my all-pervasive disgust for modern society, and my difficulty in getting my thoughts
organized onto paper, I managed to complete the book. From the initial idea of the duality of human nature, I delved
into many unforeseen aspects of human nature and the construction of society, and I believe I have created a piece of
work with a variety of revolutionary and important concepts. Since leaving Brooklyn in February 2016 I have worked
on a few more farms in Western Mass and I have done a variety of other work. For three months at the beginning of
2018 I toured the eastern half of the United States in order to spread my book and to learn more about the country
and its agriculture by working and staying on a different farm each week. I observed just how shitty this country is,
although I met some very nice people.
Some authors/books that have influenced me.
Friedrich Nietzsche- Beyond Good and Evil
Henry David Thoreau- Walden
Ted Kaczynski- Industrial Society and Its Future
Wendell Berry- The Unsettling of America, The Art of the Commonplace
E. F. Schumacher- Small is Beautiful
Emile Durkheim- On Suicide
Knut Hamsun- Growth of the Soil, Hunger, Mysteries
Ernest Hemingway- The Complete Short Stories
Franz Kafka- The Trial, The Castle
Jack London- Martin Eden, White Fang, Short Stories
Yukio Mishima- The Sound of Waves, The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea, The Way of the Samurai
H.P. Lovecraft- At the Mountains of Madness, Short Stories
Erich Maria Remarque- All Quiet on the Western Front
Alan Moore- Watchmen
Mark Twain- The Adventures of Tom Sawyer